♥Lik Shi

Ugh

2011-07-11T06:30:00.000+08:00

Yeah I just had the worst weekend ever in history,
No big deal.

“CHECKING IN” CHALLENGE

2011-06-22T23:05:00.001+08:00

1 - Two good things that happened recently

YPPAE CAMP! <3 AND XZ COMING MY HOUSE YESTERDAY (:

2 - Most recent person you started following on Tumblr and why

heehee i realised that this is for tumblr but heck, erm i have no idea

3 - Last movie you saw and your thoughts on it

4 - Story behind something you recently discovered

5 - Recent development in one particular relationship of yours

6 - Last book you read and your thoughts on it

7 - One unlucky thing that happened recently

8 - The latest random thing that happened to you

9 - Something you learned about yourself recently

10 - Last trip you went on and one major highlight

11 - Most recent event that made you smile

12 - Three new music artist you became interested in

13 - Last thing you’ve missed of reminisced about

14 - Most recent words of wisdom you heard that stuck with you

15 - Two things that you hope to see happened in the next three months

2011-06-22T23:04:00.000+08:00

AHHHH HAVENT BEEN POSTING A LONG TIME :(

procrastinater

2011-04-10T21:10:00.003+08:00

i freaking just slacked and wasted my whole weekend.

like seriously

syf's coming so i wont have time to study and yet i didnt study or make my geog notes at all this weekend

pft.

i needa get my ass off this chair in front of the computer and go make geog notes and do all my work

esp geog notes gah ): and start memorizing

i dont wanna just pass like last time

i'm spending too much time on tumblr!

like aish,

its so addictive i can tumblr for hours ):

2011-04-09T11:47:00.002+08:00

Dance just ended! On way home now like in the train
Wlao Eunice came like about 10 :/
And it's like the 2nd last dance practice!
Theres so little dance practices left before syf !
I really needa work on my sharpness and everything emotions, expressions, flowyness, knee chanxi or idk what it's called
So little time left, still so much to do ):
Pft I got so much to work on
I scared I screw it up like formations and timings and actions ):

2011-04-08T06:39:00.002+08:00

I realized I haven't been posting much, haha but that's cos I'm on tumblr Like every single day!
Like seriously! I should get less addicted to tumblr,
But Ohh wells.
Schools been really crazy lately. Mondays- I'm freaking tired, Monday blues
Tuesday- I'm more tired, not forgetting I have piano after dance
Wednesday- a really maths day, like the most no of maths period day and maths remedial followed by maths tuition
Which makes me tired from maths
Thursdays- had cheertryouts then dance
Omg watched the ucc rehearsal omg we were really bad and my drum action all not sharp! :@
And had so much work yesterday I didnt do even half of it!
Fridays Should be the days I cam slack but apparently not!
There's recess practice everyday now cos syf is so near
And I still cant like make my actions sharp enough, I looked really anyhow do kind on stage ):
I'm really scared for syf! I scared I like screw the dance or sth
And yesterday at dance my drumstick flewww ):
Gonna chiong all homework today and sat cos sunday I have to go present hunting and shopping and go down to ypose and pay for alot of stuff!
Idk what to buy Rachel and Chloe for they're birthdays

2011-04-03T18:59:00.001+08:00

and did i forget to mention sec three camp rocked!
i miss camp ):
but definitely not the icky toilets
but the awesome funny times
like rachel thought debbie couldnt see her hand in the dark! haha
tuition now ):
i should edit this later

2011-04-03T18:57:00.001+08:00

reality check, SYF is in 16 days ):
my neck is hurting and i have science tuition later ):
please dont let me fall sick now! esp with recess prac everyday
hoping that just 25 minutes extra per day will make a difference ):
we all need that damn it gold with honours
fingers crossed.

i should have forgotten so a long time ago

2011-03-14T23:42:00.003+08:00

Tell me what to do about you
I already know what I can see in your eyes
When you're telling the truth
'Cause it's been a long time coming
So where you running to?
Tell me what to do about you

You got your way of speaking
Even the air you're breathing
You could be anything
But you don't know what to believe in
You got the world before you
If I could only show you
But you don't know what to do

Tell me what to do about you
Something on your mind
Baby all of the time
You could bring out a room
Oh yeah
This day has a long time coming
I say it's nothing new
Tell me what to do about you

You got your way of speaking
Even the air you're breathing
You could be anything
But you don't know what to believe in
You've got the world before you
If I could only show you

But you don't know what to do

You think about it
Can you ever change?
Finish what you started
Make me want to stay
Tired of conversation
Show me something real
Find out what your part is

Play it how you feel

Tell me what to do, about you
Is there anyway, anything i can say
Won't break us in two
'Cause it's been a long time coming
I can't stop loving you
Tell me what to do about you

You got your way of speaking
Even the air you're breathing
You could be anything
But you don't know what to do believe in
You've got the world before you
If I could only show you
But you don't know what to do
You could be anything
But you don't know what to believe in
You've got the world before you
If I could only show you
But you don't know what to do

2011-03-10T21:27:00.001+08:00

Why bother when others don't.
I feel stupid:(

happy valentines day

2011-02-14T16:56:00.002+08:00

THANKS ALL THOSE ALWAYS BEING THERE FOR ME! I LOVE YOU ALL! SORRY FOR ANYTHING I'VE DONE TO ANNOY YOU AND ALL:( BUT I'LL ALWAYS BE THERE FOR YOU KAY TO RANT AND ANYTHING:)

thanks to people like from yppae! you'll always mean alot to me: kim, xingzhi, yujun, peng, yingjing, eden, and everyone:)

and from school: rachel, debbie, chloe, catcan, natnat, joelle, minnie, quek etc

i love youuuu♥

TAYLOR SWIFT, I LOVE YOU! YOURE SO RIGHT ABOUT EVERYTHING

2011-02-09T23:10:00.001+08:00

There's somethin' 'bout the way the street looks when it's just rained
There's a glow off the pavement, you walk me to the car
And you know I wanna ask you to dance right there
In the middle of the parking lot, yeah

We're drivin' down the road, I wonder if you know
I'm tryin' so hard not to get caught up now
But you're just so cool, run your hands through your hair
Absent-mindedly makin' me want you

And I don't know how it gets better than this
You take my hand and drag me headfirst, fearless
And I don't know why but with you I dance
In a storm in my best dress, fearless

So baby drive slow 'til we run out of road
In this one horse town, I wanna stay right here
In this passenger seat, you put your eyes on me
In this moment, now capture it, remember it
'Cause I don't know how it gets better than this
You take my hand and drag me headfirst, fearless
And I don't know why but with you I'd dance
In a storm in my best dress, fearless

Well, you stood there with me in the doorway
My hands shake, I'm not usually this way
But you pull me in and I'm a little more brave
It's the first kiss, it's flawless, really somethin'
It's fearless

'Cause I don't know how it gets better than this
You take my hand and drag me headfirst, fearless
And I don't know why but with you I'd dance
In a storm in my best dress, fearless

'Cause I don't know how it gets better than this
You take my hand and drag me headfirst, fearless
And I don't know why but with you I'd dance
In a storm in my best dress, fearless

2011-02-07T21:07:00.001+08:00

FuckIDontWantToStudyOrGoDance

Don't expect anything

2011-02-01T21:49:00.001+08:00

The people who care probably doesn't understand
And the people who understands probably don't care.

Awesome past, gloomy present, unimaginable future

2011-01-31T22:38:00.002+08:00

I realized something about old messages
The make you laugh and smile and feel awesome and loved
Then when you see how different they are from the things now and how you're drifting apart from you super close friends and how people don't keep promises that they promised long ago.
And those promised are ones you actually hope and wish deep inside thatll never be broken
And under stress people don't seem the same, people become sian and start daoing that's when the emoishness kicks in and the sianness and nothing can bring it back to being high.
No one knows the future sadly,
But no matter how much your friend may mean to you,
You may mean far far lower to them and
It just ain't right.

Nice nice weather:)

2011-01-31T18:33:00.002+08:00

Okay right now I have both a lit essay an a social studies essay due tomorrow!;(
But I'm here lying on my bed wanting to sleep and hoping my essay will suddenly get done
I want to like sleepwork! Like do work while sleeping! Or sleepstudy! Thats gonna be damn cool!:))) then don't need waste mystupid time on those kinda stuff!
And xingzhi I think I sorta understand lucid dreams now but it's scarily cool!:):0
Xiexie ni always listen to me rant!:x I feel bad bout ranting to you all the time:(
But still:) xiexie!:) ohh and I'll aim to give you your corkboard after march hols or sth? Cos I gave up waiting for your camp photos! Yes after half a year xingzhi! And go update your tumblrrr!:)
School is damn annoying now:/
Hate all the teachers and Joyce said I looked like waheeda today!:@
I should stop procastinating!:/
And I shouldn't SMS till so late next time else I'll be like today like that rawrrr:/
And I noticed the weather affects my mood ALOT.
And I officially gave up on 11.11:(
Stupid wishes never did come true only one that did last year!;(
And cos I finally learnt not to expect too much In my case not expect anything so you won't get disappointed.

Fuck this shit

2011-01-30T20:34:00.002+08:00

I even failed when baking cupcakes.
What will next?

reminiscing the past

2011-01-30T14:24:00.002+08:00

okay so im here sitting in front of the computer and reminiscing about the past while im actually meant to start studying
like CAs are in week 7 and now week five so i should chiong all my notes finish by wednesday deadline?
i kind of didnt want to post anymore since idk and no tags and all but pft heck.
like idk im really scared of exams and tests and all
just for the record, all my teachers suck
like they all hate our class and all just because we all not as queit as the rest of the classes.
except like maybe mrs toh and praveena
but eveyone dun like praveena but she is okay to our class cos she say she like classes which like asks questions and all cos they curious or sth
but i dont get it, why hate the class just because we are like noisy? we arent as noisy or that noisy! (compared to 2 grace last year)
maybe cos its container classroom?
i hate sundays now.
so ironic considering i loved sundays last time
IMISSYPPAESOFUCKINGBAD
okay that aside,
my sundays suck
cos its like science tuition and homework
and like cos i dont spend 3 fucking hours at yppae i feel like im drifting away from everyone else and all
sucks like totally
im done with most of my maths homework i think
left with 2 essays to be done by tuesday-lit and ss.
i hate being daoed:(
like feeling sucks-(dedicated to all those who dao me)
that day i saaw junjun at bishan mrt when she was coming out of marymount train at circle line then i was coming down the escalator then saw her!
maths sucks! like the questions all so hardish!
and its 2 subjects, science tuition now:(
[i will edit this post later]

maybe it was me.

2011-01-16T20:32:00.004+08:00

It was two weeks after the day she turned eighteen
All dressed in white
Going to the church that night
She had his box of letters in the passenger seat
Sixpence in a shoe, something borrowed, something blue
And when the church doors opened up wide
She put her veil down
Trying to hide the tears
Oh she just couldn't believe it
She heard trumpets from the military band
And the flowers fell out of her hand

Baby why'd you leave me
Why'd you have to go?
I was counting on forever, now I'll never know
I can't even breathe
It's like I'm looking from a distance
Standing in the background
Everybody's saying, he's not coming home now
This can't be happening to me
This is just a dream

The preacher man said let us bow our heads and pray
Lord please lift his soul, and heal this hurt
Then the congregation all stood up and sang the saddest song that she ever heard
Then they handed her a folded up flag
And she held on to all she had left of him
Oh, and what could have been
And then the guns rang one last shot
And it felt like a bullet in her heart

Baby why'd you leave me
Why'd you have to go?
I was counting on forever, now I'll never know
I can't even breathe
It's like I'm looking from a distance
Standing in the background
Everybody's saying, he's not coming home now
This can't be happening to me
This is just a dream

Oh,
Baby why'd you leave me
Why'd you have to go?
I was counting on forever, now I'll never know
Oh, now I'll never know
It's like I'm looking from a distance
Standing in the background
Everybody's saying, he's not coming home now
This can't be happening to me
This is just a dream

Oh, this is just a dream
Just a dream
Yeah, Yeah

When I'm scared and losing ground

2011-01-10T22:11:00.002+08:00

I know it's only the start of the second week of school first day
But I already feel like giving up.
Everything I used to believe hope and trust in are now gone
Schools so stressful, homework piles up like a shitload
Likxian got 10 for his o levels and if I don't beat him deep down inside people will surely compare
Everyone is too busy in their own lives.
Messages ignored, words just empty
I don't know what to think anymore.
If I screw the common tests up I'm done.
I have only this one shot if I don't make it there ain't no second chances
Yppae seems like so much fun now.
Enjoying themselves a hell lot when I'm just stuck at school
I miss ranting to blogger
I miss crying
I think I am used to like always blinking damn fast so I won't:x
I don't think I'll get back into Yppae ever.
I don't think I'll ever get replied for smses,
I don't think I'll ever make the grade
I don't think everything will turn out fine in the end
I don't think crushes exists for a reason
I don't think I can do it.

after a hurricane comes a rainbow

2011-01-01T22:39:00.005+08:00

okay countdown was the best and so funn:)

hmm so after people cancelled and could come and the list edited and edited,

peifen, xueyu, yingjing and yipeng came only:(

but it was still fun,

i met yj and peng at 4 and we were meant to go to the beach or to the arcade at my club but it was raining heavily so we ended up crapping around at home and playing taidi and bridge with likqi also and then watched gossip girl.

then the big ones as in peifen and xueyu came early and me and pf misunderstood each other so she ended up stopping one stop early!:O

then they walked over lo! but it aint that far la, i walked all the way to the station before!

then after they came we went to play taidi and bridge then when playing bridge, xueyu was very funny, he was partnering peifen then he kept wanting to put down his 2 clubs card!

and then i dont really know what we did until sevenish

but at sevenish or eight we went to eat

and then we went attic play table tennis then

the number game and like i kanna the number like i think 2 times out of the 3 times we played if im not wrong

the first time i kanna, i chose truth and peifen asked me if i still liked xueyu or sth! bleh!

then erm the second time dare i had to say xiangshen with xy for 2 mins:(

then later likrong invited like every small kiddo up:/

so we went down to my room!

then later they went to play mahjong but i ended up stoning, i felt very fucked up at that time anywayyy:@

then later we went to place the candles like 10-11

WE WERE LATE AGAIN:P

then afterwards we went to take pictures at the pond there and pf kicked the stone ball into the pond cos she thought it was some volleyball kinda thing! ahahah then we kept joking with her say must pick it up and stuff!

THEN LATER SPARKLERS:) and it was bery funny! i think screaming is contagious!:O

afterwards we took polaroid then played gou gou shou! :)

then xy and pf went back then we washed up and then we slept in the guest room, ohh and luke banged into likxian when they both were running and hit his head pretty hard!:( he got warded for observation cos he puked a few time but i heard he's getting discharged today:) hes so cuteee:)

then the darren and levine came and played cards and monopoly then we slept damn late or what you call early like 6 in the morning!:O then we were meant to wake up at 7 then continue playing but me and yj slept till 9!

we ate breakfast, used the com then went to the beach, it kept raining, stop, rain, stop...

after the beach they all went home and we went to visit luke! CUTE BOYYY:)

he was running around the hospital!:) and he can be discharged today:)

since forever, when will it ever stop.

Maybe you're reason why all the doors are closed
So you can open one that leads you to the perfect road

Never imagine we'd end like this

2010-12-29T23:19:00.002+08:00

Does happy ending actually happen in real life and not just in movies and book?
My favourite thing bout movies is that it always is a happy ending:)
maybe if we'd wish hard enough our dreams may come true. Well or at least I hope it will
:(
to all the few people reading this blog please tag(:
2011 is coming

I'm scared,

I really am

i go back to december all the time

2010-12-28T23:13:00.003+08:00

i dont want to like you anymore. its just too much to take

keep that in mind:) its to you ! it doesn't really help i know but nothing really does on your worst days

sad but true:( and the worst part is i cant help it!

really wishhh

maybe i'll leave and laugh about it someday

2010-12-26T22:03:00.001+08:00

everything's cool, yeah

it's all gonna be okay, yeah

MERRY CHRISTMAS

2010-12-25T13:09:00.001+08:00

You were in college working part time waiting tables
Left a small town, never looked back
I was the flight risk with the fear of fallin'
Wonderin' why we bothered with love if it never lasts

I say "Can you believe it?"
As we're lying on the couch
The moment I can see it
Yes, yes I can see it now

Do you remember when we're sittin' there by the water?
You put your arm around me for the first time
You made a rebel of a careless man's careful daughter
You are the best thing that's ever been mine

Flash forward and we're taking on the world together
And there's a drawer of my things at your place
You learn my secrets and you figure out why I'm guarded
You say we'll never make my parents' mistakes

But we've got bills to pay,
We got nothing figured out
When it was hard to take yes, yes
This is what I thought about

Do you remember when we're sitting there by the water?
You put your arm around me for the first time
You made a rebel of a careless man's careful daughter
You are the best thing that's ever been mine

Do you remember all the city lights on the water
You saw me start to believe for the first time
You made a rebel of a careless man's careful daughter
You are the best thing that's ever been mine

And I remember that fight 2:30 AM
And everything was slippin' right out of my hands
I ran out crying and you followed me out into the street

Braced myself for the goodbye
Cause that's all I've ever known
And you took me by surprise
You said I'll never leave you alone
You said...

I remember how we felt sittin' by the water
And every time I look at you it's like the first time
I fell in love with a careless man's careful daughter
She is the best thing that's ever been mine

Hold on
Make it last
Hold on
Never turn back

You made a rebel of a careless man's careful daughter
You are the best thing that's ever been mine

Hold on

Yeah, yeah do you believe it?

Hold on
We're gonna make it now.
Hold on
And I can see it yeah, yeah
And I can see it now, See it now, See it now

gave you all i had and you tossed it in the trash

2010-12-24T17:40:00.001+08:00

i like notebook doodles! i think the person doodles so nicely:)

so let me be, and i'll set you free

2010-12-23T22:41:00.004+08:00

i may not mean anything to you but you mean the world to me:)
and your smile makes my day<3

can you feel me, when i think about you, with every breath i take

cos its easier than telling the truth

2010-12-15T00:42:00.002+08:00

Like you know the feeling of tears welling in your eyes but just doesnt fall?
The feeling of being replaced?
The feeling of not being important in your life but you actually are important in.my life
The feeling of being alone
The feeling of insecurities
The feeling of you have/ are texting someone more important than me so you reply so slowly
The feeling of being ignored
The feeling of being unwanted
The feeling of not having anyone there to support you
The list goes on and I shall edit when I think of more or realise,I missed that out.

but you won't do the same

2010-12-14T12:54:00.004+08:00

i wish i mean as much to you

as much as you mean to me.

baby you're a firework

2010-12-10T22:38:00.002+08:00

hundred and one things going on in my mind now.

my spirits have not been high of late since 7th november

i still feel guilty and 8th nov was not that great either

i ate bachormee for breakfast on 8th :) and today for dinner but

i just failed to get that highness

like after i high for a short while

all my problems come back and idk i just no mood for anything:(

like not even listening to my music and doing nothing the whole day does anything

i just feel like curling up in a corner and cry my heart out or sth

the world is a screwed place.

with assholes

yet some people who make you smile and blush

and few who would know that you aint alright by looking at you and i guess i havent met that few, i think before i die at an old age or sth

i would like to meet a few people who really cares about you,

shares problems with you and listen to mine

and be placed on their priority list

and not just second :(

i just wanna not wake up and just sleep my life away.

cos they got nothing on you baby, nothing on you baby

Even if the sky is falling down

2010-12-07T23:35:00.002+08:00

I think I'm feeling low-ish now
after the extremly highness just now at Yppae when I zi highed myself while waiting for xz to finish meeting and got suanned real badly!
And toh yi peng I can't believe that you actually raised your hand when tingjun asked the people in the room who liked Xue Yu before! I think you'll keep raising if he keep asking for others!;)
tsktsktsk!
Like lowness reasons due to:
1. Guilty:X
like it's like we didn't even really ask tj to eat dinner with us then after following us for dunno how long and stopping at pastamania, he just I think dun eAt alr and walked off to mrt station!:0 like idk the reason but I feel guilty like 内疚 or sth idk why! Like I think us smallies are always making the dade pissed at us:( like underground meeting at June camp where the big ones talked to us after camp:( and I cried:(
2. I think it's the after effects of highing the whole afternoon and by myself at the back part when waiting
3. My sim card is screwed and not my phone!
So lack of ability to SMS? But at first I thought it was my phone so I was sad bout all my smses :( cos they are very dear to me!
4. It's gonna be my last day at Yppae tmr!
So lots of reflection going on in my head and reminders to self to smile so people don't gk are you okay and stuff like that cos we all know the end reply it's always I'm fine which is often a lie;( cos you ain't at all! And I keep tearing the whole of today abit at pastamania and on way home then must blink blink blink to you know!
5. The feeling of not being of priority and in other words unimportant is really saddening
6. I'm not able to go movie tmr after mhc cos my mom says it's too late and dadadah
and she says I have a 9 curfew that she never told me of before!
And she said you can always ask your friends out again>:(
7. I had been suanned too much today:(
like the hcl thing and tj and the rest can't believe it and made fun of me ....
Well perhaps I didn't deserve it's considering that I didn't really work hard to get my 70% even though I kept telling myself that i would and so i can stay in Yppae.
If I can't do it this year, what makes me think I cam do it next year with harder syllabus and all:( and to get back into Yppae

I think I'm just plain stupid and dumb and caught up in my own world
mommy told me that day not to dream cos it's a waste of time and nothing gets done when you dream cos it's all a fantasy and won't cos true. So maybe staying in Yppae and crushes are all dreamseanjng they won't come
true and I'm wasting my time and energy.

:( I miss Yppae Already before my last day!

2010-12-05T09:36:00.000+08:00

i'm not gonna care anymore!
or thats at least what i tell myself.

And when you smile the whole world stops and stares for a while

2010-11-30T00:19:00.002+08:00

All I need for christmas is a very very good friend who really understands me whom I can pour out ALL my woes I've been keeping all these while and share my burden:(

OPEN HOUSE '10

2010-11-27T22:39:00.002+08:00

i woke up this morning to likrong getting scolded for not wanting to go softball practice when i could really do a 10 minutes or 20 minutes more of sleep!

then joelle called me to confirm macs meet up and all

and then mom dropped me off at the station

and i reached school late at 10 instead of 945

cos i went to buy starbucks:X

7 freaking dollars!:(

but worth it!

then minnie told joelle that she cant drink coffee with orange juice cos coffee has milk and you'll get diarrhea if you do and stuff like that!

hmm then we sort of went to school and slacked in the place where the drama people were cos the room had aircon!

heehee

then we ran to the hall when we heard the animal farm dance song!

it turned out the whole day's schedule was pushed back and not that we were late to watch them!:)

but they did great! so pretty and nice:) and they like SMILED:)

in the end

our group ended up putting eyeliner instead of no makeup!

cheryl did mine and she is funneyyy!

hahaha very retardedly funny

and quite nice:) some people are scary though! but i not really from my dance well maybe a few? idk!

erm olivia cracked my back

and she cracks damn hardddd!

like my back gonna break like that!

shes really violent and STRONGGG!

:( poor back!

but the first dance we did was 1.30?

then its like i screwed! :@

i did long for the weird action!

and miss lee said i looked like i was in pain when i danced! but alison and olivia also! so :)

I'M NOT ALONE!

then we had a LONGLONG BREAK till 3 and we were bored like OMG!

we sort of camped at drama room place cos of the aircon

then we got really sian and bored and walked around the school

returned to drama place again

then to 4H our holding room

and i managed to sleep a little till cheryl, liane all the people came in cos they were LOUD!

i dont think they meant it but,

ohh well,

then we danced again,

at 320?

miss lee said we had more energy and i didnt screw!:D

miss lee's not gonna be dance teacher in charge next year anymore i think

then the rachel dont know when was like saying that we dance at her wedding,

she can choose shanxiang, or the remix version(*she started dancing*)

then she was like syf get gold with honors first or sth

then kelly was like good motivation....

kelly's real pretty in make up!:O

we waited like 1 hour for mom

and i waited like 30 mins with lynfei till 4 so mom reached bout 5?

and likqi said i looked like a witch with my eyeliner on!:O

evil maniac!

note to self:

ignorance is bliss:)

so ignore those that dont care as much

and cherish those that care?

but it CANNOT apply to some scenarios okay?:)

It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you

2010-11-27T00:01:00.003+08:00

okay i had dance early in the morning at 8-9

i am amazed that i managed to wake up!:)

but i managed to with help of COFFEE:)

then in the afternoon, i went to yppae from 2-5

to ransack yppae for mhc things!

okay its open house tomorrow.

and i gotta sleep and do my work and cards so i'll edit this tomorrow after dreaded open house!

anyway i'm happy nao:)

its good!

(edit)

hmm xz was meant to meet me at 1.15 at bugis

but she was late and reached around 2

and offerred me her hand to beat cos i was annoyed/ pissed

but cos i'm nice i didnt:D

but i feel bad for accidentally hitting your eye when i threw the sketchbook at you for saying something which i cant remember what it is!

sorry:X

we finished finding the stuff at like 320 around that time

and tingjun came back

i thought he just recovered and like

but he just kept suanning me when peifen went back to catch her victorious show!

and i missed it cos mom picked me late from the stadium mrt station!>:(

but she treated me to awfullly chocolate ice cream<3

i got suanned like REAL BADLY:( AND XINGZHI AND YUJUN JUST LAUGHED>:(

If this was a movie you'd be here by now

2010-11-21T00:27:00.002+08:00

I feel really horrible these few days;(
hormones? Idk
like I feel so bad treating you all this way so cold even though you guys are on a rough patch
but it's like I don't know how I should react on my side
just smile and act like nothings wrong at home or what?
So I'm just glad when I'm with my friends and away from home cos I can just forget about everything and all
I pray and cross my fingers that you guys will patch things up!
Us kiddis at home are suffering a great deal already!:(

I better treasure my last few times at yppae!:(
it's sad parting from it and not forgetting the awesome family-close people that I can't believe we are not blood related!
:) we must keep in touch I swearrr!

I feel stupid STILL sort of crushing or liking you after hmm
3/4 a year! It's so annoying at times! :(
yes xingzhi laugh at me all you want but I'll get over it some day like you said
that's hopefully of course:(
I think crushing is the most stupid annoying joyus amazing awesome lovely thing ever good and bad though!
It's nice cos idk the feeling is great like when you get a text or sth or you know;)
and you'll have the feel my heart skip a beat the whole world disappear~ feeling
but you have loads of sleepless night
and it's not likely to come true other than lovely fairytale or movies! Which makes everything look so easy?
But it ain't so damn it!:(
is it a good thing or a bad thing when people tease you about it? I haven't figured that part out yet!
So people reading my blog tag and let me know;)

I don't feel sleepy at 12.37am:(
I want to sleep nao rawrrr
I slept last night 12-12!
I am awesomeee:)
I need countdown partay!
Now! I mean it
or rather sleepover cum gossip sessionnn!
Or would u call it confession session!
Also known as truth or truth
I remember the last truth or truth session at yppae after perf thingie
was awesome like knowing everyones crush and all;D
but embarrassing when it comes to saying yours
but nonetheless it helped bondddd:)
I think yppae should be more bonded then funner:)
meaning of funner: more fun than fun but in a nicer way if saying fun so it's funner:D
heehee
I did that cos everytime I say funner people sy there's no such word!:(
they no have imaginative mind like mine who can think of all sorts of scenarios all the time be at on sleepless nights or whatever!
I'm bored so I'll blog about class gathering tomorrow! Hopefully if I remember:)

cause baby tonight, the DJ got us falling in love again:)

2010-11-18T20:42:00.004+08:00

i got into higher chinese!

yayyyy:)

but still cant continue yppae until my grades go up so:(

i'm gonna miss it so badly:(

ohh you know there's a fb like thing that says

Based on psychologic study,

a crush only lasts for a maximum of 4 months. If it exceeds, you are already in
love.

whoaaa

so xz it was love for you not a crushhhh:)

heehee

kidding dont kill me or hate me whatsoever

i have not been blogging much:O

dance have been tiring and caused major muscle aches that cause me to walk funny

and i havent talked much to anyone of late, anyone meaning, rachel, debbie, and fanny:(

we should go out together!>:(

tsk!

dance have been :(

monday we spent 3 whole hours combining the scarf part with the drum part

tuesday we changed the whole thing

thursday we did the drum part i guess?

but there's dance tmr for li's dance

and wang's dance no need to go cos we went on monday:)

but i have science tuition at 1030 tomorrow!:(

so must do the work nao! D:

i have 5 chapters to complete! D:

blehhhh:@

i think i'm ranting:(

i shall stop nao:)

i hate the rain!

2010-11-13T23:58:00.000+08:00

something i learnt from vampire diaries
everyone always asks
"are you alright?"
and we give the "i'm fine" answer then a smile
but who actually asks "do you actually mean it?"
after hearing.

vampire diaries is awesome<3
but scary:@
but it has hot hot guys
with hot hot packs
and some cute guys:)
and pretty cool stuff!:D
but i need to watch with yj!
cos she gets scared with me:)
and kim goes,
i didnt even get scared..........
sleepover was awesome !
polaroiddd<3
we should have it sometime again
bffl:)
and this time with olivia!:)

i hate the rain!>:(
it always makes me emo-ish!D:
especially if its like at night rain!

2010-11-11T22:10:00.000+08:00

i'm annoyed>:(

2010-11-08T22:55:00.000+08:00

this photo is so funny:)
hmm
so there was dingdang wutai yesterday and saturday
its kinda fun bringing around the small kiddos
cos they are so cute
but they are quite not nice when they refuse to listen
or mimic me when i ask them to keep quite or not fight or you know
on saturday,
i was leading group L10 which had 15 people ! the most out of all the groups!:@
and they could actually think i could survive?
even though i havent lead a group for so long i think last last year?
or sth or is it last? see i dont even know!
and the group i lead was the small small kiddos and they sticked to me like glue but they were cute:)
hmm ohh then during the saturday debrief,
i complained to the new guy that jijian harass me! ahhaah
then he was like say i can go report to police,
and biyu and yujun said i be witness!
ahhah
:)
i'm gonna miss times crapping with you guysD:
but i assure you i WILL return to yppae:)
okay
sunday was a better day
in the sense that yipeng lead group L10 with me:)
but she got a little fed up with me:)
and i think the new guy stalks us on facebook!
:O
yipeng must careful!
i reached late on sunday and just went straight to yms
then i recognised one girl from my group then must take her away
then her parents were like
saying i look like xiaojun jie:/
i told xz
then she said last time she overheard the big ones saying
that xiaojun jie looks like me
then they were like saying i what da mei nu
or sth
i dont believe that they think i very pretty:)
i think they are prettier than me:)
okay
so erm the thing went smoothly
and the group was quieter than usual!
as in not usual, as compared to saturday:)
then when we tech run,
our group was late
then the big big ones kept staring at me when i entered
then i got super pissed
cos its like if anything wrong will always be our fault and stuff:/
>:(
but in the end everything was okay!
and jinyang came to help
or rather do his- slacking:/
and he grew much much taller:@
then biyu said must be the china air!
i totally agree with her!
cant be he grow so tallxD
but i'm still taller!
and i realised peng is shorttt!
and i'm taller than her you know!
even if i quit yppae,
and dont come back
we shall all meet at june camps:D
and zi-high:)
and gossip
bleh:(
and scandallsss!:)
i love yppae<3

note to self

2010-11-05T11:32:00.001+08:00

JUST DAOOOOO:@

heehee

2010-11-04T12:14:00.002+08:00

i suddenly have the i love dance feeling

woo:D

which is good i suppose?

i mean better than the argh there's dance today feeling

i like the jubilate dance:D

better than syf:)

eeks! syf is in aprillll!

i scared i screw it up:(

where is dance today?

i hope its in mpr :) airconnn<3

but dance is so empty nao

like so little sec 3's:O

that means alot of damn smart sec 3s:)

take hcl!

ahaha i think cheryl's really poor thing

like so lonely in dance now:(

oppsy:(

and debbie said yesterday

she'll name her daughter cheryl

cos the cheryl's in dance both junior and senior all very pretty

so she thinks if she names her daughter cheryl her daughter will be pretty too!

hahhaah debbie:)

and i got tortured yesterday by debbie's interview:(

tsk!

dance later:)

finally something to do:)

rather than spoil my eyes in front of the computer:)

i love

2010-11-02T22:49:00.001+08:00

i love tumblr but its so annoying the way it keeps failing on me these few days
like not loading more posts even after how long
and just repeatedly

FRUSTRATED

2010-11-02T00:35:00.002+08:00

yes, though eoys are over I still feel stressed up
Though I have nothing to do all day but laze around in front of the computer facebooking/tumblring
I'm stressed out at everything and anything
W.O.W
perhaps ranting it here may help
Firstly, you freak me out, well you always have right from the beginning then I tot you were just plain weird and let it pass. Occasional MSN convos, you scare-ing me at YPPAE was fine too but not this I swear you like completely freaked me out . You didn't say but just to get it clear, I think you're weird but okay as in you don't dao us in YPPAE which is good but other than that Im quite freaked out by you and your constant scare-ing. And this is far far worse. I dont like you as in like you .
Secondly , I'm afraid that once I leave YPPAE I may never get to come back like likqi. It's so ARGH! It's like not that I want to quit you know. And the people there don't judge me based on what i do etc like I can be as wild and high as i want and just pour my woes to you people, your offer your shoulder for me to cry on(thanks xz!) and we cry in a group sometimes(xiaopin) like I actually look forward to.it despite everything. I'm not sure if I can survive without the support and love you peps give me.
Thirdly, there's you of course:) and I haven't seen you in ages:(
We don't talk much and stuff may be awkward but still.......
Fourthly, I am in desperate need of best friend sleepoveerrrrr! That mean you people! Olivia , yingjing and yiling! Yes I needa hear your crushes and get to.catch up:D mustmust okay! Olivia you owe us:) we want to.hear bout you!
There's just so much in my mind though I may seem so.unworried and smiley bubbly whatever, I'm just very 烦恼:(

thank you

2010-10-31T18:53:00.003+08:00

200th post:)

i thought since school has ended, i ought to do this

well thanks everyone for being my friend:D

to my lovely st nicks friends for being there for me always

rachel♥ for cheering me up all the time i cry and have poofy eyes

babe! remember pretty girl cry then not pretty anymore okay?:)

debbie♥ osa<3>

must have more h2h convos:) but no acting guy that likes me convos!

fanny♥ well thanks for being there all the time despite being quite its good to know i have a friend there always:)

raphaella♥ hahah thanks for motivating me in dance with your awesome crappishness that makes dance so much more interesting

poopypants♥! ahaahah kristel, thanks for being there for me in dance, you're and awesome dance friend and i actually enjoy doing fuji and beiji with you! i'll miss you when you go vjc:(

denise♥ hey you know you still owe me letter right? ahahah anyway thanks for writing to me all these while and tolerating me asking for my letter:)

natnat♥ hey natnat well you are so tolerating and not scolding me everytime i call you shorttt!

ahhaha dont worry, you'll be taller than me someday okay?:)

yppae friends, you've known me since young and i guess all the performances we had together really made us bond more, we've never really fought before but we gossippp:O aahah i'll miss you guys when i leave cos its just a sunday that i look forward to every week to catch up with you people in that short 3 hours. it may not be long but its the one main reason why i want to continue yppae, i dont know what i'll do without you guys! well you people saw me through young and embarrassing times and tease me and spread my rumours:( which i would never forgive you guys but i love you guys and for you people, i'll work hard to return to yppae after april performance, and i'll bring your flowers:D

xingzhi♥ hey honeyyy! we must go tanning okay! and we must catch up through letters and tell me all the gossips! i'm damn sad to leave! hahah dont get love sick! ;) study dates please with yujun we shall have it at your house with jijian as the tutor:) hey soul sister♥ i miss zi-highing with you already!:(

yujun♥ i'll miss the times we convo about all the problems we face at yppae and all our worries its so funny that you live at toa payoh and come all the way to near my house for school and i go all the way to toapayoh! ahahah!

zhiyan♥ we arent as close as we should be despite all these years yaknow? but i think you're really awesome! stop thinking you are fat! you are muscularrr:) we all jealous leh! all we have is fats! we should get closer:)
yiling♥ hey best friend! i've known you so many years and you have so much allowance to buy clothes and all! jealous:(

yipeng♥ stop being so scandalous when i am not there alright! the da de are too old for you to crush on or to have ai mei guan xi!

thanks everyone for being there for me through thick or thin blahblahblah and all the times when i had my troubles and i started crying:O i ♥ you babes(from school and yppae both)!

TAYLOR LAUTNER

2010-10-25T23:02:00.002+08:00

hes so hot he's so hot i swearrrr

my heart's melting! awww thanks lautnerrr:D

i pasted up all my taylor lautner posters in my room well all nice posters of people i like

hmm there are 7 lautner posters one of which is the eclipse one which is really huge and nice and i would literally hug the wall! well its not really possible i mean i just stick on the wall:D gahhhh hes damn hottt:D ohh and one more small one on my corkboard:D

okay i have 4+1=5 selena gomez posters<3>

and i have 1 taylor swift poster well have many more but behind selena gomez :X

and im gooing her concert next yearrr:D i so want her new album!

2010-10-22T19:20:00.000+08:00

FAILED THE BEST

hopes

2010-10-21T22:20:00.002+08:00

I know people always say you must have faith in urself
But I can't bring myself to face tomorrow,
The moment of truth
What I have worked my ass off the whole year
I told mommy tomorrow is doomsday
She told me if you worked hard won't be
But in life when are we actually pleased with what we have in our hands?
Why must mommy be so kiasu?
So life is actually just working?
I thought it was to enjoy and to be happy
I guess this is what I was taught, to study only
Threatening? I think motivation works better.
I dont know what I'll do if I don't do well.
I packed tissues in my bag ALR just in case:(
Whatever the result is i am sure I won't be jumping for joy
Wow imagine crying in front of the whole cohort
WTF
I ain't looking forward to anything.
Tomorrow is my doomsday
That spells
F-A-I-L-U-R-E

:(

2010-10-20T23:41:00.001+08:00

screw life

and screw the world

education

and

expectations

cant you be like any other parent who would use motivation instead of threatening?

screw you.

i cant be who you expect or want me to

im sorry.

i just aint

impromtu awesome lunch:D

2010-10-19T19:40:00.005+08:00

braddel mrt station!

the lady read fanny as pantyyy! ahhahah

so nice righttt!

this was not taken at a mirror! beat that:)

bras basah mrt:) we finally reacheddd

neoprintttt

dancerrssss<3

take oneee

okay today we had reflection day:)

its kinda effective

like it got the message to me to reach out to my friends and listen to their worries:)

and after it ended,

me and fanny were about to go home

after fanny bought milk tea

but rachel asked us to wait cos she going home too!

then in the end we went lunching at bugis:)

at mos burger!

brought back lotsa memory of camp:(

i miss it:(

not sure if i can help out this year onwards

depends on my results:(

rachel's iphone damn nice:D

cant wait till mine comes:)

okay

back on track

we went bugis

by circle line to bras basah and walked there cut through yppae downstairs:D

then mos burger..

neoprints!:)

posting pictures now:)

sorry i didnt elaborate:(

lazy:(

AWWWW

2010-10-15T18:55:00.001+08:00

i think this song is really sweet:D

and nick jonas is the best out of the jonas brothers!

i cant stand joe or kelvin jonas:)

nick is quite cute and this song is really awesome:)

if the guy sings it its really sweet ahahahhaah:D

i dont really care

2010-10-03T22:36:00.002+08:00

If its my life, then why do we bother so much about what people say?
It really puzzles me,
:( one more week to eoys!
Fuckkk eoys:(
I'd rather my life be simply and. Happy in other words boring and always the same
Than
Complicated and no point,no happiness,
Unpredictable.
Say I'm a coward or whatever I can't be bothered
I don't like insecurities
:(
I still ain't prepared for eoys:(Damn
But I shall work hard for the sake of staying in YPPAE
Don't have any other motivation other than that and that:)
Hating life, why do I have so bad time planning?
Tmr, mug geog,well memorise and history n revise science which i dare not touch!

what we all need

2010-10-02T23:40:00.003+08:00

we all need a little of : faith

trust

and pixie dust.

GRRRR:/

2010-10-02T00:09:00.003+08:00

i love xz's expression!

I'M SO ANNOYED AT HOW I KEEP MISSING A2 BY 0.STH MARKS:((((

AND ALWAYS GET 1-2 / 0.STH MARKS LOWER THAT SUKIE BY JUST THAT LITTLE BIT

INCLUDING CHINESE AS IN OVERALL GRADE FOR THE YEAR

I GOT 0.STH TO A2

WTF

THEN I SHOUTED FUCKKKK OUT LOUD:O

THEN STARTED CRYING:((((

I WANNA SAY THANKS TO

JOLENE, YOUR RETARDNESS WITH YOU PUTTING YOUR LOLLIPOP IN YOUR CLEAVAGE AND IN ENGLISH CLASSES:D

NAT FOR THE HUGGIES:)

SUKIE FOR THE CARDDD:) AND THE NOTES WRITING

RAPHEALLA FOR CRAPPING WITH ME ALL THE TIME AND LOAN ME IPHONE:D

FANNY FOR BEING THERE BUT SO QUIET:( AND FOR THE SMS:)

(edited)

denise and christebella for the hugs too

and nicole for the texts:) and gonna let me play cookie dozer:)

JOLENE DAMN FUNNY TODAY ANYWAY,

OPPS MY CAPS!

ms ng was like: so you must pretend

jolene: that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting starsss......

ahahahaha

did i say ms ng and mr kuah were wearing couple shirts

like striped shirts like really a couple those kind

then when i told miss ng

she blushed like crazyyy

our class damn funny:)

we played with the projector under the negative mode

then we kept shooting people

shooting as in pause on kinda stuff

and that was our childrens day present to miss ng

i think miss ng's boring but quite cute

with jolene and her randomness in lessons

i <3>

i ought to be studying:((((

everytime i look at you, its like the first time<3

2010-09-30T18:20:00.001+08:00

what should i do?

2010-09-29T22:22:00.002+08:00

I got the continue YPPAE form and I seriously don't knowcwhat to do with it
I mean judging on my grades, mom may not let me continue
What should I do?:(
I mean I<3 YPPAE perhaps the people there,
Should I write a really long letter to justify why she should let me continue
Or should I just go down on my knees n beg her to do so
I am Damn sad n annoyed
Missed A2 for Chinese by 0.4 marks
:(mom say go beg ur teacher for marks
Siao this is ppr leh,
Not test paper
Perhaps generation change?
Ur time maybe pleading with the teacher worked but it doesnt for mine
So should I continue YPPAE?
Like after all these while n I'm finally 组员一
And we may have chance to finally be on exco,
This is happening to me?
But if I don't continue YPPAE,
Mom will be overjoyed
Jumping for joy
Perhaps I don't understand
Is 3 hours out of the 168 hours we get a week a lot
Is.it too much to ask for?
Why isn't my grades good
And why don't I strive to achieve the highest?
Can't you already see the effort I am putting in?
Can't u feel the pain.of pulling someone.away of.something like her family?
Perhaps you are stronger than me mom
Not physically but mentally,
But u told me everyone of.us is unique in.our own ways
Then why do I have to.Excel.in school? Why cant I excel in other stuff?
Yes, the generation gap is too huge, u are different from the nice warm mommy I used to know
You are.now overdemanding I realised i don't know you at all.
Something I took out of out schools connexions
The outstanding Os
People with blood type o like the As are stubborn. However, the difference is that the people with the o blood type are not shy to voice out their opinions. They are also.mentally flexible and accept changes easily(so.not true) thus it comes to.no.suprise that people with blood type o are easily influenced by others(true) they put on facades and appear to be cheerful people(yupppp) however,if they can no longer tolerate things to a certain point they are sure to.fond someone to pur their word and grievances

cos i ned you right there by my side

2010-09-28T23:36:00.002+08:00

I'm really annoyed at how I keep procastinating
I will,I swear finish geog n history notes by tomorrow
Did I say julia is back?
I missed you Julia!
Well more like I missed your hair!
Love,hairdresser:)
I'm really disappointed at myself these few days
Keep getting distracted and all
Tell me what's the point of being 组员一 if mom may not even let me continue YPPAE ?
The point of breakingdown is just so near!:(
But to you no matter how hard I.try,
If I.dun get the grades it means i didnt try hard enough?
I.have no motivation to persist and persevere when knowing what i took so many years to achieve can just be gone like that?
God, help mommy see that YPPAE is my second home and my friends are like my family,
Can't do without.
Help me work a way out
And help me persist and persevere on for another 2-3 weeks
Amen.
I hate myself:(
Useless piece of shit.

yppae was siannn:(

2010-09-26T21:24:00.003+08:00

yppae today was so sian! like xingzhi agrees with me:(((

contemplating not to go and study instead next sunday

i got the continue yppae form today! dunno if mom will allow:(((

damn saddd:(((

and like today was sooo uber empty!

well me and xingzhi were going crazy in dls lesson

like she was writing kan likshi on my paper and so i wrote hong xingzhi on hers

then we kept cancelling and snatching papers! ahahah

and xingzhi :D i think... tingjia was jealous when u wrote kan likshi on my paper instead of hers!

well zhou lao shi did not come today

so we ended up doing some weird stuff

like erm 3 ppl

A supposed tell C what action B is doing n the action B is doing is actually done by the audience

our group was the fastest!:)

then later the 2 ppl group one was

A blindfolded and draw on whiteboard what B described to do and biyu drew octopus for our group so damn hard to explainnn:(

but then we got back at biyu group by drawing crab!

heheh

xz so should have drawn dinosaurr!

rawrr!

then later we had xiangshen

and mls commented on xz hair and all hahahahaah

yl one also

then they had to pin their hair outta their forehead

i had to too:(

then she say my chinese quite good:)

but i never stand straight blahblahblah

and also say i cannot wear fbts go there!

wth:(

then expect me wear like biyu?!?!?

long pants so hottt!

we ended late

then i took mrt home cos there was f1 then sure jamm.. soo:)

then before i left i went toilet and jinxuanjie splashed water at me:(

then when i came out of toilet the weijie gege was like byebye

then i just ignored cos freaky alerttt!

then he was like 你说什么？

i was like 我没有说东西!!!!!

then he went 你应该说什么？

then i was like ermmm byebye?

then he went byebye 谁？

then i had to reply:/ bye bye weijie gege:(
omg hes freakyyy

xingzhi! hes damn freakyyy! bu peiii!

copied this from facebook

2010-09-25T22:41:00.000+08:00

If you hoard love, it melts away. If you lock love, it breaks free. If you grab on to love, you end up holding an illusion. When you let love flower in its own way, it stays to support you. When you pass on love, it multiplies beyond measure.

its like the on this day god wants you to know...:)

how come everyone expects something out of me

2010-09-25T22:28:00.002+08:00

how come everyone no matter who all expect something out of me?

i mean it

be it my grades, dance, school, and all?

i feel like i'm cracking out under all these pressure

i really want to give up everything

and know why do we bother living and all

I NEED INSPIRATION TO MOVE ON/GO ON:(

as my blogskins says:

you say you really know me

and at the same time, how sure are you?

a day without you is like a year without rain>

eden teoh kangmin

2010-09-20T20:45:00.002+08:00

HEY MY DEAR LOVE ADVISER OR RATHER PERSONAL TRAINER,
HAPPY TERRIFIC THIRTEENTH BIRTHDAY!
I LOVE YOU TRUCKLOADS!THANKS FOR ADVISING ME AND HELPING ME DIFFERENTIATE RIGHT FROM WRONG
YPPAE IS SO MUCH DIFFERENT WITHOUT U!:(
I MISS YOU!
WE OUGHT TO CATCH UP AND SLEEPOVER SOMETIME SOON!
UR REALLY CUTE N AWESOME!
ALL THE BEST WITH SOME GOOD LOOKING HOT GUY EH!
AND UR PRETTY TYPOGRAPHY!
I'M REALLY GLAD I MET U THRU YPPAE!
ALL THE BEST IN RGS SEC 1!
LOVE U!

and ur tied.together with.a smile but ur coming undone

2010-09-20T19:56:00.002+08:00

I just wanna say thanks to Rachel liammie, ur text was really sweet though it made me cry a little harder for a while
Isabelle for comforting me when i was crying like shit and for tolerating my crap all these while and my slaps!
Michelle for saying u love me all the time and comforting me! I'm sorry I cant be lesbo with u! It's against my law!
Denise for writing the nice note which also made me tear but thanks babe I love.you! Thanks.buckets for writing lettered to me all these while! Sorry for keep on bugging you and asking demise where is my letter?;) I will write to u after eoys everyday k?:)
And Nat Nat! Thanks for the cute letter for me which also made me tear:( but I love you:)
And thanks whoever who.provided me tissue
You guys are the mannn! Always cheering me up when I'm the downest!:) when my mask crumbles.

2010-09-19T19:23:00.000+08:00

i feel sad:(

week one term four

2010-09-18T13:31:00.002+08:00

week one is over already!

its only 3 more weeks to eoys

i'm really scared:(

but i'll try my best

study like !*#^&)$

wow must study study study

i strained my tendant:(

but i'm okay now

though i get mc from physical activities till next thursday:D

i'm gonna be so bored in dance

i think i should jus do the dance dance and not jibengong since i'm fine:)

but i'll see

2 grace is the coolest!

morning class naps before assembly!<3

i <3>

i mean we may be rude/noisy/funny

but its kinda like class spirit when we tease miss ng and all

and she controlling her laughter ahahah

i still remember jolene saying miss ng i love you suddenly last term hahahaah

nothing to inspire me to blog now:(

must study study study!

other than truth or truth/would u rather

with debbie, rachel, fanny and raphealla was extremely hilarious

and we were screaming like a bunch of mad people:)

and olivia saying crap to them:( but also false but somehow true whatever la:D

RACHEL LIAMMIE

2010-09-12T21:13:00.003+08:00

SO MY DEAR RACHEL

THANKS FOR LISTENING TO MY RANTINGS

AND SORRY FOR ALL THE TIMES I'VE LET YOU DOWN

WE HAD COOL ITOUCHES

WELL I HAD U STILL HAVE

AND WE ALWAYS HAVE GREAT FUN

TELL ME MORE SECRETS

A TRADE FOR A TRADE

IN SLEEPOVERS AND ALL

I LOVE YOU<3

I'LL CATCH YOU WHEN YOU FALL:)

THANKS FOR BEING SUCH A LESS ANNOYING FRIEND THAN DEBBIE:)

DEBBIE NG

2010-09-12T21:09:00.002+08:00

DEBBIE NG! HERE IS YOUR POST:/

I LOVE YOU DEAR

WHEN YOU DONT SPAM MY FACEBOOK WALL

U SHOULD GET HIGH WITH LOLLIPOPS

WHEN WE ARE OFF THE INTERNET

YOU ROCK IN DANCE

AND YOU ROCK AS A FRIEND

EVEN THOUGH YOU DONT WANT TO TELL ME STUFF AT TIMES

I STILL WANT YOU TO KNOW

I LOVE YOU <3

AND I'LL BE HERE FOR YOU:)

pictures:)

2010-09-12T20:39:00.006+08:00

YES I HOPE

LOVE ME THE WAY I LOVE YOU.

TOO BAD, LIFE'S SHORT

SO MAXIMIZE IT

LIFE ASPECTS

说说说说，说你爱我

I GIVE FREE HUGS<3

NEW YORKKK<3

THE WAY OUR HEART WORKS

THANKS FOR BEING HERE FOR ME:)

I WANT TO DO THIS:) IN THE HOT AFTERNOON SUN:)

PROCRASTINATING

2010-09-12T20:22:00.004+08:00

I ADMIT I HAVE BEEN PROCRASTINATING FOR THE WHOLE WEEK= NOT MUGGING:(

I WILL DO SO AND MUG LIKE THERES NO TMR WHEN SCHOOL REOPENS:D

I MUST GET MY 70%

OLIVIA PHUA SHI EN, GIMME SOME OF UR SMART BRAIN CAN?:/

HEHEHE

I AM FEELING LAZY

SENTOSA WAS GREAT

MY GRANDMA WAS SO CUTE

SAYING SOME FRENCH ONION SOUP(NO BUTTER/MILK) NOT NICE COS HAVE ALOT OF MILK AND BUTTER TASTE

THEN SAYING WHIPPED POTATO(ALOT OF MILK AND BUTTER) VERY NICE COS NO MILK AND BUTTER TASTE

I HAVE TAN LINES NOW:) FROM SWIMMING COSTUME:)

BUT THERE WAS NO SUN THAT DAY!

I SHALL STATE WHAT HAPPENED TODAY

STUDY DATE WITH XZ:D

AND YUJUN SUDDENLY POPPED OUT:)

I DID MORE MUGGING THAN I DO AT HOME

WHICH IS GOOD AND BAD

OPPS MY CAPS! hehehe

anyway good as in i did work

bad as in i hardly do stuff at home

after that we drank koi

DLS CLASS WAS BORING AS USUAL

but i like lama yaba the rao kou ling

damn fun to say!

hehehe

but i keep stumbling

then da xue thingie

then xiangshen prac= camwhore:D

then went home

xz says i ought to stop writing in white:(

she can see it:/

sian

there is school tmr!

i ought to post more pictures here!

next post::)

i'm only me when i'm with you

2010-09-06T21:03:00.001+08:00

Friday night beneath the stars
In a field behid your yard
You and I are painting pictures in the sky

But sometimes we don't say a thing
Just listen to the crickets sing
Everything I need

And I know everything about you
I don't wanna live without you

And I'm only up when you're not down
Don't wanna fly if you're still on the ground
It's like no matter what I do
Well it drives me crazy half the time
The other half I'm only trying to let you know
That what I feel is true
And I'm only me when I'm with you

Just a small town boy and girl
Living in a crazy world
Trying to figure out what is and isn't true

And I don't try to hide my tears
My secrets or my deepest fears
Through it all nobody gets me like you do

And you know everything thing about me
You say that you can't live without me

And I'm only up when you're not down
Don't wanna fly if you're still on the ground
It's like no matter what I do
Well it drives me crazy half the time
The other half I'm only trying to let you know
That what I feel is true
And I'm only me when I'm with you

When I'm with anybody else
It's so hard to be myself
And only you cant tell

And I'm only up when you're not down
Don't wanna fly if you're still on the ground
It's like no matter what I do
Well it drives me crazy half the time
The other half I'm only trying to let you know
That what I feel is true
And I'm only me when I'm with you

With you
Oh oh oh
Yeah

would you?

2010-09-05T23:56:00.002+08:00

You make me feel like I'm living a teenage dream

Yppae was just plain weird yesterday
We slacked, a lot
But we hypered!
And finally I found someone who shares the same views as me!
Well, I got my pretty purple card from xingzhi wait to be exact its a letter!
Thanks honeyyy, I love you
But yl said it looked like people writing punishment;(
But maybe cos u write Damn small n neat xz!
Tingjia has been ponning for the last 2 weeks! Wow
:)hey you! yes you! i like you<3

and zhou laoshi never come again:(

so we had stupid boring xiangshen and i had to partner xueyu

and we were both trying to be the 乙 cos the lines easier! ahhaha

but in the end i got to be 乙 and he was 甲

but then later mls say dunno what 乙 actually duno what 70% then 甲 30%

whatever>:)

but xiangshen makes me bored especially 说一不二

which we have heard for like so many years?

it is just so boring and we can mostly memorise it!

i want xingzhi to be my dadang!

cos i'm sure it'll be like become a comedy or something:)

but i was super annoyed yesterday at yipeng and biyu like flirting with xy in front of me!

would you run if i run

would you listen when i talk

would you cry if i cry

would you be there if i needed you

would you sense it when i'm jealous

would you know if i'm okay

would you be there when i need you

Boy, I need you here with me
We can't go on this way
I'm falling hard for you
And all I can say

DUMB DUMB DUMB

2010-09-03T21:19:00.002+08:00

ppr came back today:(

as usual i didnt get 70% overall

i kinda expected it

but after all that i tried

some blind people like mommy cant see:/

like her that compares me with what liane?

and say i never work hard enough

well, its so hard to be born with a dumb brain

but smart enough to get into sngs

but not smart enough to get into hcl class

and yet must try so hard with so many setbacks that just pulls you down

heck all the so called mental strength every one thinks i have

I FEEL LIKE GIVING UP

COS NO MATTER HOW HARD I TRY,

ITS ALWAYS PULLING ME DOWN

dance is also too fast for me to catch up

aint my fault that wang does not like me

comparing me to liane?

siao! she has dancer-ish blood la!

so what if i try so hard

so what if i even become good?

so what if youu can see that i am trying hard?

it aint gonna change anything

i swear.

oppsy

2010-09-02T14:49:00.002+08:00

i have not been blogging for a week i think:(

chemistry sucked today:(

there is lit tomorrow:(

i think i'm gonna fail :O sheesh! hehehe

but raphealla and fanny are coming over after school tomorrow!

we are gonna bake cupcakes with icing:)

awesomeee:)

i wanna try doughnuts like raphealla said but mommy said it will be hard!:(

but i still wanna try:)

after eoys!

THERE IS DANCE PRACTICE TUESDAY AND THURSDAY 1-5.30

GAHHHH! MIGHT AS WELL ASK ME GO DIEEE!:((((

anyway i have exams whole of term 4 week 5!:(((( hope i dont collapse!

i'm so bored

everything comes naturally, it comes naturally, when youre with me baby

my fourteenth!

2010-08-29T13:19:00.003+08:00

my fourteenth was awesome
special thanks to raphealla, rachel, debbie and fanny!:)
my day would have sucked alot without you asses!
thanks to all those that wished me to:) be it from yppae <3 style="font-weight: bold;">papa for the coach bag and the nike bag
mommy for the polaroid<3
xian for nothing
mama for the 40 dollars cash
uncle serhong and yiyi and family for the shopping day to come and the card
and yppae peps! all the sms wishes and the facebook wishes and for once not suanning me!
and olivia for the really long wall birthday post and the cute present to come after ur grades come out so u get money!:)

thanks all those who wished me in one way or another! love you people<3 size="3">
and jolene for suddenly singing me birthday song on friday(27th) for no reason when my birthday was on the 26th and making me so paiseh!
pictures up another day!

2010-08-25T21:31:00.002+08:00

What I feel right now
"hold on maybe you're losing it, waters high but ur jumping into it, letting go, and no one knows, that you cry but you don't tell anyone, that you might not be the golden one, and your ties together with a smile but ur coming undone"
not looking forward to tomorrow, at all.

Not really looking forward

2010-08-23T23:43:00.002+08:00

I'm not really looking forward to my birthday
the though of being fourteen is like must be like
more serious, more mature, more wise, more smart, more old,
and just I don't know?
Life's so crap now! What's the point of just school and tests everyday and weekends just take a breather?
I don't think I can hit 70% overall this term how?:'(
now I don't think I'm quite ready for fourteen, being older, more serious, less childish, more mature.:(

btw Charmaine broke a chair leg of her chair today by herself haha! And miss ou's really nice to talk to!
I doubt I'll have stupid birthday luck and history is tormenting me.

my birthday wants

2010-08-22T10:13:00.003+08:00

26 august will rock the core:)

1.a hug:) hahhaha

2.onto headset

3.the wheel of elastics from diva

3. tin of band aids from diva i think its really cute!

4. the nice hair elastics from dive! its really pretty:)

5.sleeping eye mask! i dare wear it in class! hahahhaha

6. earpiece from diva:)

okay enough of diva

7. letters:)

8. cards

9. ohhhh charm bracelets:) its so cool

10. canon digital ixus 130 the pink one

11.polaroidddd<3>

12. stay in yppae! i told my mom that she no reaction:l

13. lesser of suanning hhahahh esp xing zhi!

14 aiya anything from the heart:)))

i ought to study!

2010-08-22T10:11:00.002+08:00

history test on my birthday:(

gawd i have to study! 2 chapters lehhhh

i am really lazy:(

i need a smart brain

hate history!

hahhah just wasted one post!

Anew

2010-08-19T23:15:00.002+08:00

Having too much enemies well even one to me is like crap
when u become too much, n I blog bout it=I will never gossip bout u anymore cos I'm too tired to take part in this game
hate all girls school
we all become bitches:(

fragile

2010-08-18T20:34:00.002+08:00

friendship and trust breaks as easily as trust.

but how many of us are actually willing to take the risk?

its just easy to not take the risk but after taking the risk,

i am scared of the future

what may happen,

what may come.

what may seem okay today may seem not okay tomorrow

what may be a strong friendship today

may be broken tomorrow.

the fragility of friendship scares me.

esp in school.

i dont know why but

insecurity is my phobia

always have been always will.

and i'm scared of tomorrow

there are two ways why people change

first: they have learned alot

second: they've been hurt too much

bitch

2010-08-18T18:01:00.002+08:00

fuck off bitch.

where do u think you are going trying to sabotage my friendship with my good friends?

what gossiping about me (hahahah though u quite fail)

ur gossips dont actually bother me.

the only reason why i want to know what gossips u say about me

is that i want to laugh at all these gossip lies

about how untrue they are

get a life loser.

i dont want to hate you like last year and start a whole blog war again and u getting scolded by my best friends, ahhahaahah

so just stop lying please, its for your own good

and just stop showing off!

谦虚 heard of it?

no one really likes you if you go take notice,

i wont, trust you ever again

and this is how it goes,

what joy does it bring to you in coming up with lies to糟蹋别人?

never met such a person.

should have listen to them long time ago and just ignore you.

and just fyi. i hate you, i aint lying about that.

It's weird

2010-08-16T22:30:00.001+08:00

Yppae feels weird without the da de around and sort of empty ESP the past few weeks, though we may not have gone along well sometimes and I always kanna suan by the dade, Yppae is damn dead and awful without them! Whose with me?:)

What used to be and what's left

2010-08-16T21:51:00.002+08:00

What used to be respect for such an awesome caring mom that used to Starr in all my 作文s and who I won't be ashamed to show off and tell everyone how much I love you
is left with me hating you, just tolerating you cos I have no whatsoever authority, no more idoling of you, no more caring , no more praises, sacarstic, living in self denial of u not being sacarstic, not whom I look up to, anymore

yog. Papa worked how hard to get the tickets? U just talk in that sacarstic tone of yours saying and sneering what itsfree? Yes perhaps uslittle kids should stay out of adultsprivate affairs or what u call it. U scold us for no bloody reason, pms like24/7 , get annoyed and just scold us as n when u like. Say don't force us in doing things u don't want yet u contradict urself, making us do everything we don't want, or should I say force? U say don't force u go opening, u there trying to convince us not to go closing. Calling yog a distraction, haha perhaps that will make news in the headlines? "mom finds yog a huge waste of distraction?!?!?!"
u are bonkers I just want to remember that mom when I was p 3/4 nice caring, easy to talk to, motivational, and just understanding,and not some pressurising demon here. Hitting 70% overall to be Yppae?!?!?! Not even u paying. Why can't u just be a little more supportive? Must why ask me go 死掉算了. I'm serious. I don't know what my life will be like if there isn't Yppae. Or rather I don't dare imagine

even if I tried my very best, my hardest, all my effort, will u ever see it? Will u ever see ur childs potential in other 方面? Where is ur childs limit? And even though how hard we try n dont hit our target, it's our fault for not trying hard enough? Pressurissing us and threatening me by Yppae? Is that the way a mom is supposed to be? Like some demonish you?.

national day half day

2010-08-15T13:29:00.004+08:00

hmmmmm, i have not been posting for a long time:( so i shall start from last friday.

hmmm that week passed like damn freaking slow!:(((( maybe cos i was looking forward to sleepover! hahahah

anyway friday the so called national day celebration was like so ... sian:((((

the skipathon

fanny backed out on dffs outing:(

so in the end we went with marianne, rachel , debbie and me:)

we camwhored like siao before we left school becos like the movie was like 3 plus and we ended at like 10? sooo freaking early! ahahahaah

we were like hypering with my slr:)

then we went to erm amk hub,

then we met sarah and jill at pepper lunch and in the end idk why we ended up eating lunch with them at 6 ppl table

then we tried to sneak into arcade but the stupid arcade lady keep catching us for our so called uniform hahahah so in the end, we bought shorts for marianne at top 20 , 2 for $10

i bought the fishy pants and marianne look damn cute in the pants hahahaah

then we went J8 then we boughtthe tickets and walked around then me and debbie saw miss lee, miss ng and miss idk whats her name the miss lee bff, ahahahaah

i was freaked out, hahah didnt ecpect to see them.

then street dance was super nice<3>

then went home dahdahdah:)

it was freaking retarded and funny us four:)

i love you people<3

XINGZHIII

2010-08-02T20:29:00.004+08:00

HEY MY DEAR FREN:)

who loves pandas and cats

who was unlucky this year at june camp hahahahaha

who calls i dont know who so late at june camp

who camwhored with me so much in june camp yet never upload to let me set as my dp!:(

who always tries to suntans but fails at getting sunburnt! hahahah we go end of year kaes? sentosa baby<3

who calls yppae guys gayshits n laoba!

who was in xiao pin with me<3

who does penguin walk damn freaking cute

which birthday falls on the 2nd august!

who takes ages in writing back my letter>:( hmph!

who keeps ponning yppae!

who is cold joking sometimes!

who crushed on some idiot*cough*ting*cough*jun*

who i love greatly<3

happy early birthday! or happy birthday if ur reading this on the actual day!

i love you<3

friends forever!

i'll laugh at you if u crush on that person again!

MY DEAREST YINGJING

2010-08-02T20:14:00.000+08:00

YESH BABE! THIS KIND SOUL OVER HERE IS DEDICATING A BLOGPOST FOR U! AWWWW<3

hmmm i've known you for years! practically my whole life! its so awesome that we met through yppae! so glad i went there else i no bffl:(you are one of my soul sisters:) aww<3

we had lots of awesome times! thanks for always turning up at my new years eve partay though the most recent one was damn fail! i promise you i'll do better for the next one! but u are the awesomest!heheheh u must continue being my bffl! or rather one of mine:) love you babe! FOREVER! CANNOT FIGHT OVER GUYS AND ALL OKAY? BUT TAYLOR LAUTNER IS AN EXCEPTION AHAHAHH! WILL TELL U WHAT YOU WANNA KNOW IN THE SLEEPOVER OKAYS?:)

LOVE YOU

BFFL<3

guts training?!?!?!

2010-08-01T21:07:00.005+08:00

yesh min this post is dedicated to you!
i know i love you <3 style="font-weight: bold;">
hate is a passionate emotion<3
but seriously i hate you for the gut training awkwardness and all!
what comfy corner are you bringing me to?>:(
hmph!

there's only one thing , to do, three words, for you...
i love you<3

how confusing the world gets

2010-07-30T23:43:00.002+08:00

i hate how confusing the speed of life is

when we cant even stop to breathe

things are just too hectic, too fast, yet too long

the thing i learnt is that we often dwell on things without knowing the truth!( yujun!)

without knowing, half of 2010 is gone

with me still writing the date as 2009 sometimes:O hehe

i mean why must we always talk bad, bitch about people?

i dont get it

perhaps it runs in the human blood ! hah

i mean this happens esp in girls school the thing i hate most

like that night in june camp also:(

things just getting to hectic for me to STAY SANE.

useless

2010-07-25T11:02:00.002+08:00

i dont know whats my problem

always getting distracted

always not focusing

always not trying hard enough.

geography test on thursday and considering i did not do well for the last one

and i'm still here slacking

facebooking the whole day

and just wasting my weekend

i hate how short a concentration spand i have

i just suck

at everything

be it dance, school work, yppae,

i dont know why just cant i do well

why my brain fails to work like all the time?

why my body cant flow like the flowingness of chinese dance

and what to mom why am i always calafaring at yppae whatsoever

life is just a big mess right now.

school sucks.

i hate week five

hate my brain

i give up

Why can't teachers communicate with each other ?

2010-07-21T17:29:00.001+08:00

I don't know what's wrong with teachers and their inability of communicating to each other
j see this week there is only one test 听写 which does not really count yay but damn next week , week 5 tests are: spelling(I don't really care) , 议论文on Monday lit test on Tuesday which there is no passage wth? So we are meant to do charater analysis and remember which I hate
and geog test on thursday. Which has one whole chapter and a bit of another chap and it's the only geog test this term and I didn't do well for the previous test due to mental block ! So I'm counting on this test to pull my marks up and I'm making notes now and it's alot!
Why cram so many test into week five and none in week four?
What's wrong with school?
Everything
there's history learning journey to fort factory tmr!;) lol to those who thought it wa the car factory( Sarah and Jolene)
but have to return to dance after that! Booboo!:( hate Chinese dancei'm so glad that national day holidays is two days(Y)
I need sleep over;) KIM!YINGJING!!OLIVIA!!!! ur better show up at my house or I'll come ur house haunt ur!
Miss ur babes! Got lots of gossips to talk and chat about;)
love august!:)
there's yingjing xz olivias and my birthday!;)2,3,11,26 august respectively :) love you all! Better gimme present:D
I'm so going to get broke;( but it's worth it!
Hate school (won't change)hate dance now(please change) love Yppae(<3)

Put onthe past move in to the future

2010-07-15T22:28:00.002+08:00

My darling min knocked some sense into me
thanks for ur advice babe!
Anyway this week has been a hetic realization and all so I just need a little time to sort my mind
I really decided to move on and leave --- behind
there's no use staying there hoping anyways
sure I'll be interested in who he likes and all just like I am for everybody
but impossible= impossible
so yeah,

it's kinda hard to sort out my feelings and all so thanks Kang min!
U don't need or won't fall off a chair after I say sth ever again!
Hehheheh

maths was okay
but it being okay makes me wonder real hard
maybe I can do well?
Dance sucks
I hate the flowingness of Chinese dance! Pfttt !
But I can't do anything
I.really.wish.I.could.dance
gonghan tmr shitz and summary:) I am okay with it cos summary is quite easy!

I finally realized you need to put the past and the present Down to move on to the future

"and I quickly discovered that I never really needed you"

hongtang III

2010-07-11T21:30:00.003+08:00

hong tang III WAS AWESOME!
AND HILARIOUS!
jinyangs high socks was disturbing
they were playing soccer
jijian was acting dramatic even while playing soccer
it cant beat eclipse though cos there are not hot guys eg taylor lautner! nor cute guys eg bobo steward(seth)
i love our nailsss! hehehhe the girls came over my house early to paint our nails<3
we had blueblack and white on fingers and bumble bee on our toes- blueblack and yellow
and made zhiyan's bday card
then went over to bugis to grab a newhairband and dinner
which we ate oyster mee sua at national library!
heheheh
and we saw peifen dressed up nicely to meet her date, awww:)
peifen, no taylor lautner is MINE! SINCE YOU GOT YOUR GUY:D
AND SINCE WE ATE FINISH WHEN THE COUPLE CAME TO FIND US AND THEY DIDNT HOLD HANDS WHILE WALKING BACK, ME XZ AND QI SPIED ON THEM , ALSO ON THE WAY TO GET OUR TICKETS:) HEHEHEH
THEN ON DUNNO WHICH ESCALATOR PEIFEN SPOTTED US:( OR RATHER ME:(
but they were holding hands:) awww:)
then later wrote finish zhiyans card
then ate all new zealands natural ice cream, walnut butterscotch
then we texted her
me: u smiling so sweet eh?;)

peifen: hahaha yeah cause see you girls so pretty what!!

me: ur not supposed to use ur phone when ur on a date you know;)

peifen: i'm not on a date la tsk!

ahahahah so funny! hheheheh

then late on our way to toilet, me and tingjia hooked our hands when we crossed their table
hehehehhe
i feel bad:O blehhh
sorry for ruining your date peifen
:)
we went to find them backstage afterwards
and eat birthday cake that tasted horrible
heard peng had new crush / target-.-
peng must tell me!
RAWR
anyway
thats about all:D

Mommy what's your freaking problem

2010-07-10T23:24:00.003+08:00

Why do you keep having to pressurize us?
Why do you think that what you do is really the best for us?
If u think that by quitting yppae it'll improve our results
I'll tell you first, I'll deproove, I'll grow depressed

I'll go insane
yppae is my life mommy. Which part of that do you not understand?
Which mother actually is willing to take her childs life away?
Which mother won't want her child to be happy?(according to jinxuanjie during mhc)
but I still remember cos it hits me so hard.
Perhaps u are the exception.
Perhaps you live in self denial
but mom I CANNOT make do without yppae
perhaps I don't know how, likqi can

Papa does not mind me in yppae when he is the one paying
why do you have to care then?
I don't even mind going there myself you don't have to send me
cos of that I try to make it up to papa by trying hard to get into hcl
although I'm like dumb and stuff
but at the end of the day I know that papa won't mind if I don't get into hcl
cos at least he know I tried
but what did u say when I told u that?
That means u didn't try hard enough

but I cannot live without yppae
it's like taking a fish out of water.
It's like taking away mh oxygen
I'll die.

my awesome day before i returned home

2010-07-04T18:20:00.003+08:00

my taylor lautnerrrr<3

i had tuition till 1030
mom insisted in sending me but only returned at 1056
so i practically ran like siao to the cinema when i reached bugis
eclipse was fine
with me screaming a few times

I LOVE TAYLOR LAUTNER<3

SETH IS CUTEEE:) EXCEPT THE FACT(ACCORDING TO XINGZHI) THAT HE'S KOREAN
robert patterson is such a hairy gorilla
xingzhi says he griws uglier by the movie and that she felt like helping shace his eyebrows
there was a girl who kept running down the cinema aisle(copying the cullens) and crawling back up(imitating the wolves) -.-
then after that we went to eat lunch then went to yppae<3
i got shenji or sth like that to zuyuan 1:)
but there'll always be a barrier with use and the big ones
then i went home.....:(

mom's always angry at me shouting her head off at me after yppae.
perhaps i should really quit?
fuck her

annoying asses

2010-07-04T18:06:00.002+08:00

why do i always have to do stuff for people?
get the hcl thing cos u want me to do even though i'm fine with anything
helping you to pass the cip form?
i will do my stuff myself
why can't i give next week? is there any difference?
if not what? i can't go yppae?
wtfh
i really await till i'm eighteen
you wont any control over me
i'm free to do what i want
i can make my own decisions mysef finally instead of you treating my life like your own life
i dont care about how you deprive your own life
because you can treat urself like shit
but you cant treat me like shit
please fuck off
go care about other people
going to bed today by 1030 lights out?!?!?! please la
i'm sec 2
that is not possibe
its finally the weekend
more like jail
i miss life
cos my life does not seem like life
you thinking you can threaten everything i have in my life with yppae?!?!
its the only think i can function properly with
why dont you choosing school or yppae?

tell me why

Schhol sucks

2010-07-01T00:12:00.000+08:00

150th posttt!:) hehe I blog so much! It's so much better than a diary! I swear
but sometimes diary are better considering no one can read it
school sucks
the people there are not as frienfly, not as loving or caring
well on the whole I miss Yppae people!:( love you all:)
I've been doing badly already
I did sooo badly for last terms geography test
I had mental block in the test then went to sleep then dreamt I had mental block in my test n failed it, how ironic
I miss .
As in school frens aren't bad either, dffs, raphealla, poopypants, Sarah liping, but they are like the few ppl I hang out with other than that I'm sleeping in class or sth
chem is fuckkkkk
xz daos my message too>:( learning from ------- arh? Ahahhaha but everyone daos my mesaages la.
After a while they get I don't know and u can just tell that they don't want to reply those kinda thing
so it's just a matter of time( time again!:( why is everything time?)
school sucks
life sucks
and i don't know which way to go.

:(

2010-06-28T20:49:00.001+08:00

remember that time when we had underground meeting and tingjun said i am like in a box cos i dun get some stuff and all but later on edited and said i live in a box with a small hole cos i am slow and not what, now i really feel like living in a box

or in space:) vacuum! so cool:)

i miss yppae

2010-06-27T21:12:00.002+08:00

school is starting tomorrow
i feel like crying
its gonna be a hell term
i'm gonna try to do what everyone wants me to do
to achieve
everyone thinks i am that smart
that i'm just not trying
perhaps i am trying,
just that u dont see me trying
i just wish the world do not judge me me as what i look like
and rather who i really am
i miss yppae
i miss 7 wonders of the world:)
i miss yppae peps

i'll try even if its impossible

2010-06-25T20:57:00.003+08:00

term three is starting
i have not even finished my work
but heck care
i'm already all stressed out and all
home econs test that i was not notified of and i dunno which chap are tested in the first week
2nd or 3rd week is maths test
mrs cheung is coming back which means i'll fail my maths this term again
but mom say i MUST go maths tuition which is good i guess
i reay feel like breaking down and crying cos i know i cannot do this
yet i must try to convince myself and everyone else like i surely can like that
its just sooo hard to put up a strong upfront in front of everyone
but if i dont do well i'll have to say goodbye to yppae
but i bet even if i drop yppae i'll still be the same
worse probably
without moral support and all i'll collapse
its like i'm wearing a mask that'll fall off and everyone can see my hideous sight and all
and so i have to work hard even if it means sudden growth of white hair or depression or what
but for the sake of staying in yppae
i'll do all i can
cos those are the people who really care about me
true friends
where things are really existing to talk about
and not juz a recount of what u did the previous day or what
i wish yppae peps were my school mates!
i mean they'll really care and all
and if there is problem we'll really talk it out:D
like after camp:D
even though like there'll be tears and all
and i was the one crying like siao for no reason
anyway i'll stay in yppae no matter what

i love you yppae ppl!
sorry if like my attitude have prob or whatever like i roll my eyes and stuff
and i go too far sometimes
thanks for really caring about me
i'll do all it takes to stay in yppae for ur:D
love you all:D

hoping:)

2010-06-23T17:25:00.002+08:00

perhaps when u say u dont like that person anymore,

perhaps i'll get over you:)

other ppl's crushes last so short

yet mine is like !)(@#&*( long

perhaps it has to do with my weirdness:O

everyone says time does its part

then why hasn't time done its part on me?

but even if it does

why do we still remember who we crushed before?

it should be clean, and we cannot remember anything anymore shouldn't it?

i really want to get over you,

but i hope the time comes now!

then it'll be easier to do anything

What You Mean To Me lyrics

Can't blame you,
for thinking that you never really knew me at all,
I tryed to deny you,
but nothing ever made me feel so wrong,

I thought I was protecting you,
from everything that I go through,
But i know that we got lost along the way.

Here I am,
with all my heart,
I hope you understand.
I know I let you down,
but I'm never gonna make that mistake again,
you brought me closer,
to who I really am,
Come take my hand,
I want the world to see what you mean to me.
What you mean to me.

Just know that,
I'm sorry,
I never wanted to make you feel so small,
A sorry is just beginning,
for let the truth break down these walls,
(oh, yeah, yeah)

And everytime I think of you,
I think of how you pushed me through,
And showed me how much better I could be.

Here I am,
with all my heart,
I hope you understand.
I know I let you down,
but I'm never gonna make that mistake again,
you brought me closer,
to who I really am,
Come take my hand,
I want the world to see what you mean to me.
(yeah)

You make me feel like I'm myself,
Said I'm being someone else,
I wanna leave that everyday,
You say what no one else will say,
You know exactly how to get to me,
You know its what I need.
Its what I need, yeah.

Here I am,
with all my heart,
I hope you understand(I hope you understand)
I know I let you down,
but I'm never gonna make that mistake again(that mistake again)
you brought me closer,
to who I really am,
So, come take my hand,
I want the world to see what you mean to me.
What you mean to me.

this song lyrics is so sweet:)

i still think about you

2010-06-23T00:22:00.002+08:00

i'm lost
when s1 supports u when others did not
then others start supporting u
then the one who first support you dont anymore
i dont know which way to go anymore
cos i dont have a voice of my own
i know that you are my friend , u wont 害 me
but i'm lost
i dont know what to do
i dont know which way to go
but i'm not sure if ur right either
but i'm sure that i'm wrong
i dont dare ask you cos i'm afraid of 麻烦ing u

why do you have to stay in my mind
what does it take to get over you?